business end of the year

It's reached that time of year again that we all have to hand in our essays, do our exams and present our findings on whatever it is we've learned. For me, third year is fast approaching and this is a terrifying prospect.

I feel completely unprepared for the real world. Education is, barring the part-time jobs on the side, the only thing I've ever known. It could be the only thing I will ever know, my career paths seem inevitably intertwined with education. I don't feel like I know anything more than when I started. I do feel more intelligent but perhaps that's just because I take more notice of things around me.

Today I have to give a presentation on Sufi Islam. Which is exciting to a degree because I find different religions consumately interesting (I'd hope so, considering the degree you've chosen, you might say) but to be honest the prospect of standing in front of a room of people trying to explain something that I don't really understand beyond what I've read is quite a nerve racking thing. I wish I could have had the last three months to actually get my head down and do some work.

That would have been wise.

return of the larry.

I’m back! I needed some time to do work and get my head together. So, what’s new?

New job, nearly finished year two of uni, and maybe new intentions on the career front, or maybe yet, basically what I have now is a complete indecisiveness about what I want to do with my future. I wanted to teach, but after my placement I'm not sure whether I want to throw all of my eggs into the basket that is education. I've never been out of it before, I don't know anything else apart from McDonald's and my many, many jobs around that.

That said, do I want to escape academia and go into something consistent, with the threat of it becoming mundane? The great thing I learned about working in a school was that two days are never the same. I never dreaded going in, I didn't even mind getting up early, in fact it forced early mornings to become part of my routine in everyday life once I finished. Now staying in bed until half nine causes guilt beyond which I can't compare, which I'm well aware is shameful for a student.

I've decided more or less what I want to do for my dissertation. I'm going to look into IVF and the various religious views on it. I'm well aware it divides opinion throughout religious communities and it's something very close to my heart, so to learn more about it is intriguing and, as sad as it sounds to get like this about an essay, excited.

But now I have to throw an essay together on Sufi Islam, which I thought I'd enjoy a lot more than I actually am.

Wish me luck!